The hardest part of ending is starting again

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

this week has been LINKIN PARK WEEK! hahahah! i think i'm quite retarded, last few weeks was click five and goodcharlotte. like i'll just play all their albums(: i wonder what happened to boy bands.

cny has been retarded, tj's one was really quite hmm? HAHA! heng, got my friends to keep me awake, otherwise i would have died of boredom.

my own family's cny has been okay i guess? but my maternal side lost its feeling. its just, not there anymore. it used to be woohoo and everything, like i'll really rush my parents and shout at them to get there. i was excited this year, cause it was the first proper cny since. and it just really doesn't feel the same anymore. theres just so little people who come back when you left. and its disgusting, its sad and pathetic. i mean, just because there isn't the core doesn't mean you don't come back, we're still a fucking family for God's sake.

cny didn't bring back any good memories at all. i felt so broken and angry. and it was hard to keep a smile through the entire day. even collecting angbaos didn't make me feel any better. and the lost in blackjack made things worse): I WAS WINNING OKAY! URGH! THE DEALERS LUCK DAMN GOOD, HE CAN BANLUCK 3 TIMES A ROW AND 21POINTS ALOT OF TIMES IN A ROW. but yeah, urgh.

i mean, it wasn't so terrible, cause what was left of us was happy. everyone was happy to see one another again. and the food was really AWESOME(Y) yummy(: its these kinda food that makes you feel happy even though it makes you ten times fatter>:D

ehh... i dunno what to blog about already, anyway, happy chinese new year people(: hope you get loads of angbaos!





7 more days.
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear